We all have a plan for our lives.
Sometimes that plan isn’t our plan. But one that was given to us by other people. One day, you might wake up and realize, this isn’t the life I want.
You find yourself wondering:
“Is what I want even possible?
Am I even capable of creating this whole new life I dream of?
Do I have what it takes?
Do I have the capacity to grow?”
As this fear creeps in you think, maybe I’m not cut out for it. So you put this idea aside. But you can’t stop thinking about it. It won’t leave you alone. So you start to allow yourself to dream.
Just a little.
You dream and dream until one day, you know you’re ready to take that leap. To live your plan.
You’re scared. You’re excited.
Are you ready for it?
A growth mindset is a belief that our knowledge and abilities can be refined and improved through effort and hard work —and that you can always change and grow.
Those with a growth mindset focus their energy on growing and learning instead of worrying if they might fail, how limited they are or about how they look to other people. They don’t let their past mistakes define them.
On the other hand, people with a fixed mindset believe talents are something you’re born with and unable to be achieved through effort and hard work.
A fixed mindset is limiting. It keeps you from trying new things because you don’t believe you can change. It keeps you stuck. It creates an aversion to challenges for fear of looking like you don’t know what you’re doing, or that you’re not as “smart” as someone else. It keeps you safe. But avoiding new challenges and experiences doesn’t give us the opportunity to grow. It keeps us from being the very things we’re afraid of.
When we face challenges, receive criticism, or believe we aren’t doing as well as others, it can be easy to feel insecure or defensive. But this is not a response that invites growth. It inhibits it.
A growth mindset is freeing.
A fixed mindset limits you.
Which will you choose?
When we’re in that growth mindset and ready to take a leap – we’re ready to move into another version of ourselves.
But what happens to so many of us when we’re questioning all we’ve known is we come up against fear, right? Fear of the unknown. It’s a fear of moving from comfort to discomfort because change isn’t always comfortable.
Fear of change, fear of failure. A fear you’re going to let yourself or someone you love down. Believing what you’ve been told your whole life, that you weren’t going to make it, and letting that be true. Fear of losing a sense of stability. Fear of losing ourselves and the support of those we love.
We need to own and allow those feelings, that fear, and allow them in. Because it allows us to see what’s showing up for us. It allows us to ask how we can start to peel back the truth of what has been holding us back. When that fear is getting us to second guess ourselves, we can learn to release the hold of fear and keep moving forward anyway.
Because this fear is a reminder that we’re capable, even though we’re feeling afraid. It’s moving with the fear and through the fear to be able to get us to that next space of our lives. So when this shows up we need to listen.
Because maybe it’s telling us that this has gone on too long, or there must be another way.
Neuroplasticity is your brain’s ability to change and grow while learning new things and our interactions with the environment. It forms new neurological pathways in the brain and strengthens existing ones. This allows us to learn from and adapt to new and unfamiliar experiences.
How cool is that? We as humans are amazing.
Like, stardust amazing.
In a study done by psychologist Carol Dweck, students’ brain activity was measured while they looked over mistakes they made on a test. Students with a fixed mindset showed limited brain activity when looking over their mistakes because they didn’t engage in the problem-solving process. But the brains of the students with a growth mindset showed heightened activity as they engaged with and processed their mistakes. They were figuring out how to correct them.
Having a growth mindset means that you don’t let what happened in your past — or present — hold you back from creating the future you dream of.
When you’re constantly learning and applying what you’ve learned, you only get better. More skilled, more knowledgeable, more confident. You take the feedback you receive and learn how you can improve your methods and your technique to create the best version of yourself and your life.
New adventures are full of mistakes, setbacks, and challenges. When you experience these things, will you learn from them? Will you keep going when things get tough?
How to cultivate a growth mindset:
Never stop learning. There is always something new to learn, and ways to grow.
Growing up, I was taught that secure and safe = success. That you needed a steady job so you can retire one day. But after working as an Occupational Therapist for years, my heart began to yearn for more. Deep down I always knew that for me, secure and safe were not my truth. I could either choose to stay safe and secure even though I know it’s not bringing me happiness, or I can start to believe in a new truth for myself. So I found myself getting clear on what I truly wanted in life, while also getting clear on why I was staying where I was, where I wasn’t happy.
When my father took his last breath on March 5, 2016 — I decided to make a change and follow my true desires. My Dad’s death was the catalyst of change for me, a sign that helped me to realize a deep truth… the truth that we each hold our own destiny within ourselves. All of us.
I knew that I needed to quit my conventional job of 7 years. I had to release the comfortable and ‘stable’ aspect of my existence so that I could step out to pursue what I really wanted in life.
I began to invest in myself again. I decided that I was worth it.
When we stay stuck in a space of believing something because that’s the way it’s always been done – we can come back to the power of choice, that we have the ability to change our outcomes.
So what is it that you want your outcome to be? What is it that you want your life to look like? If we can be completely honest to ourselves in life, there really is no failure. Because when we’re trying, we’re learning. And if we can think about it this way, if we try and things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to, we can think, “this is good, this is feedback” because we’re always learning, we’re always getting one step closer. There is no such thing as failures, only feedback.
What is it that we’re learning? What do we see is possible?
How can we thrive instead of simply existing? To adopt a mindset of growth instead of one that’s fixed. To get into a space of aligned action, one step at a time. To get more comfortable with the feelings that arise, and keep moving forward.
We need to stay open to possibilities.
Learn to be flexible with our “plans”.
Because sometimes we don’t know when life is going to show us something exceptional.
As a Transformational Lifestyle Coach, I want to help facilitate connection, balance, fulfillment, and joy in the lives of amazing women (you!) who are ready to take the leap into the next phase of their lives. Women who are ready to release the feeling of overwhelm, and exhaustion and help them step into their innate power and wisdom that was always inside of them.
If you’re ready to take that leap, book a complimentary clarity call with me here.