How to Live a Life of Integrity: Choosing Courage Over Comfort

Some of us might have a different definition of what it means to live a life of integrity. Of course, most of us want to be accepted by society and to be seen as good people. So we live our lives by socially accepted ethics and morals.

Too often though, we forget to treat ourselves this way.

With goodness. 

With honesty.

By our own morals…

 … but what does that mean?

What does it mean to be a good person?

What does it really mean to live with integrity?

What Does it Mean to Live with Integrity?

Integrity is defined as “the quality of being honest and having strong, clear and consistent moral principles; moral uprightness — a bold honesty about ourselves”. 

The word integrity comes from the Latin word “integritas” which means “whole” or “complete”.  It’s related to the word “integrate” which means to “bring together”. 

It’s bringing together your outer life — who you present yourself to other people — and your inner life — your truly unique and authentic self —and creating a whole… you.

So many of us are disconnected from this inner life. We present a more “acceptable” social persona to others as we go about our day. A persona people expect from us. What they want to see. Eventually, we start to believe this is who we truly are.

True integrity is a commitment to our own values and principles — without compromising them. It guides us to make wise, ethical, and moral choices and decisions about our lives. We make these decisions to feel and be seen as good and ethical people… and to be in alignment with our authentic selves.

We do this by making a commitment. To make consistent choices that honor our integrity.

When we’re consistent, we let other people know what to expect from us because we hold ourselves to the same standards in every situation, and every person — including ourselves.

It means acting with an authenticity that honors who you are on the inside, and not only how you present yourself to others. 

It’s about being truly honest about who you are and staying true to that self — no matter what.

Our parents, peers, and culture have a big influence on our given beliefs and values. Sometimes, we’re forced to choose whether we want to accept these influences or not and whether we’ll act the way we’re simply expected to. Or… we can choose an entirely new path that’s in alignment with who we want and choose to be.

How to Live a Life of Integrity

It can be tough to sort through all the contradictory rules and expectations that you’ve grown up with. It takes courage to step away from what everyone else is telling you and to listen to your own voice.

Listen to your heart. Listen to what it’s telling you. Because this is where your passion and your sense of purpose reside. What is it that lights up your soul and sends a burst of excitement and desire through you? 

What would your life look like if you followed your heart?

Is it in alignment with your own chosen values?

When it comes time to make a choice… 

Choose yourself. Define what it is you value most in this life. 

And stay committed to these values. 

So ask yourself:

• Who is your unique inner being? 
• What do you truly want to do with the beautiful life that you have? 
• What do you believe is your purpose?

Many of us don’t dare to take the time and ask ourselves these questions. We might be afraid of what the answers are. What that might mean.

 Instead, we give in to what society and others expect of us. We settle. We ask too little of ourselves and set the bar of life too low. We get so busy living this precious life for others that we don't live our own.

We need to be willing to examine the answers to these questions and figure out what lights us up. To find what we’re called to do. To explore what motivates us and make that a priority. 

So ask yourself…

Are you living life on your terms? 

Are you living for your own goals and expectations? 

Living a life of integrity is not about forcing yourself to be who society and other people expect you to be. It’s about really being honest with yourself and having the courage to go after what your heart is you to. So that you can show up for yourself and become who you were always meant to be in this life. 

Why Living With Integrity is Important

Martha Beck says in her book The Way of Integrity that most of us reach a point in our lives where we’ve done everything we’ve supposed to… how everyone told us to do it… but we come to realize we’re not happy, we feel lost, and that this isn’t enough. So… what’s wrong? 

She believes that to find ourselves out of psychological suffering, we have to find the parts that are trapped in suffering. We are taught to believe things that don’t feel true to our deepest level. If you’re in a place that’s wrong for you at your deepest level, but you feel you have to stay there because that’s what’s expected of you, the belief that you have to stay will cause a separation from your true self and chain a part of you to suffering. 

Beck says, “Integrity is the cure for psychological suffering. Period.”

The way to get out is to question every belief that does not align with your true self — which is what your integrity actually is. 

And to get out of the broken place in our own lives, we need to explore our own suffering which is usually caused by blindly obeying something in our culture that is in defiance of our true nature. And release those false beliefs until we come to our truth. To act and speak what is true in every part of our lives. 

Beck believes that when you stray from your integrity and authenticity, it’s really an abandonment of self.

She writes that most of us are trained not to notice, but if you aren’t paying close attention to your own truth, you eventually develop real — and sometimes physical — symptoms. We can feel angry, sad, grief, irritable, anxious, and depressed. She believes the most painful loss in life is the loss of meaning. Because without a sense of purpose, life starts to feel, well… dull.

When I was presented with an opportunity to choose between staying in a safe and secure profession — even though I knew it wasn’t bringing me happiness — or starting to believe in a new and beautiful truth for myself, I got really clear on what my values were. 

I chose MYSELF. MY beliefs. My values. My path.

I chose to believe in the value of:

Healing

My personal power

Prayer and Meditation 

Reflection 

Support

Guidance

Co-creation 

Surrender 

Release 

Forgiveness 

I allowed myself to wonder what this new life would look like. To believe I could live it. So I took that leap and started to live a life that lights me up. 

I answered the call to stay in my own integrity.

 

In the Power of Vulnerability, Brené Brown highlights the link between courage and vulnerability, which she describes as "having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome."

To choose courage over comfort.

To allow ourselves to become transparent, and vulnerable, and have the courage to turn back to our essential nature, to be who we are and not who we’re expected to be. 

To share our inner world and show up and give 100%. No matter what someone else might want for you, or what they might think or say about you.

My purpose in this life is to walk side by side with other women who have that calling to be something more. To help them create more joy and freedom in their lives. To help them bring their inner and outer worlds together.

To feel complete.  

If you are ready to walk the walk of integrity, book a complimentary clarity call with me here.