Why Play Is Important at Every Age: Reconnecting to That Joyful Part of You

As adults, we tend to prioritize crossing off the things on our checklist. All the stuff that needs to get done before we relax. Our to-do list is never-ending. We have to clean, do the laundry, the dishes, run errands, work, etc… and all of this is expected to come before the gentle acts of caring for our spirit.

Being an adult seems to mean that we’re expected to always be taking care of the mundane. Never getting any rest. Never making time for fun. For play.

But growing up shouldn’t mean you have to leave behind the playful things you loved as a kid. It doesn’t mean giving up who you are or what you love. It shouldn’t mean that we give up on what brings us joy.

Joy is a crucial emotion in the human experience. And our experience of life won’t change until we change the experiences in our life.

So for once, let’s prioritize JOY, shall we?

Being an Adult Doesn't Mean Sacrificing Your Joy

Being an adult usually means making some sort of sacrifice — especially for women. You’re expected to be responsible and to always put others first.

A sacrifice means giving up one of two things that are valuable to you. Something you love and care about. These two things can’t be had at the same time. To have ONE of these things, the other has to be given up. What you choose to sacrifice matters to you more than this other thing.

Sacrificing something for the sake of what truly matters most to you is usually a pretty clear decision — but it isn’t always easy.

This concept will seem pretty familiar to the parent who works constantly so they can give their child the best life they can possibly have. Or the mother who sacrifices an hour or two to herself because someone else wants her attention.

But sometimes, a sacrifice is not always necessary. You don’t always have to give up on things you love to always put that other thing first. You need to make sure you aren’t undervaluing yourself. You need to be able to cherish and care for the things that matter to you while still making room for your own joy.

Look at it this way: experiencing joy yourself simply adds more joy to the world and to the people around you.

Changing Your Definition of What it Means to Be an Adult

You might define an adult as someone self-sufficient. Someone mature, responsible, reliable, and experienced. Someone who cares for those that depend on them — such as children, a partner, their aging parents, etc.

These responsibilities can make adult life stressful and demanding. It’s also what can give us meaning and purpose. But it isn’t the only thing. Along with all of our other adult duties — we must also provide ourselves with the things WE need to thrive.

As an adult, you’re allowed to live the life YOU want. Let go of what society tells you what an “adult” should be. Let go of the idea that you have to be productive all the time. Give yourself permission to create your own rules. To be free. To embrace the joy that makes you who you are.

Give yourself permission to play.

Why Play is Necessary – Even as an Adult

As children, play is a hugely important part of development for us as we grow. It facilitates our social and emotional growth and allows us to explore our world in new and different ways. A connection to pure possibility.

As adults, and as a culture, we love to emphasize the importance of work and getting ahead. We sometimes struggle with the idea of taking a day off — much less a vacation. We fear the consequences of falling behind at work. Or worry we’re ignoring our responsibilities. Eventually, we tend to stop playing because we consider it “indulgent” or “immature”. Or, life simply becomes too busy. We become consumed with our careers, childcare, and relationships.

But we never lose the need for it.

Play is an antidote to our busy and frantic adult lives. Our constant responsibility. It’s a productive and welcoming distraction from our worries. Play is what allows us the opportunity to focus on pleasure rather than responsibility. It allows us unadulterated enjoyment.

Lenore Terr, M.D. — a professor of psychiatry at the University of California — says that the need for play is not a sign of immaturity or irresponsibility, but a vital and healthy one. Even as adults. People who engage in consistent play are better equipped to solve problems, think creatively, and reduce stress. It refreshes us and recharges us.

It renews our drive to accomplish our work in the world.

Reconnecting to Your Inner Essence and Joy

Make no mistake, being an adult is hard. No matter how you define it. But no matter what’s happening in your life — you can always turn to the things that make you joyful.

Maybe that's lighting a candle in the morning as you sip your first cup of coffee. Maybe that’s dancing to your favorite song in the kitchen while you’re making dinner. Maybe that's a walk around the neighborhood or at the beach. Maybe that's calling up a dear friend who makes you laugh.

Positive and joyful emotions — like gratitude, love, delight, and triumph — not only feel good but also:

• Strengthen the immune system.
• Help build satisfying relationships.
• Increase resilience during hard times.

Joy isn’t usually something you feel every moment of every day. Authentic joy comes in moments. The human experience is a complicated mix of joyful and painful feelings. Positive emotions are not about suppressing or covering up feelings you need to deal with. They’re what help you cope. They fuel you to keep going. And seeking, recognizing, and celebrating these little moments of happiness can help create more of them.

What brings you joy in daily life? Call it to mind. Be open and receive it. Play with it.

Bringing the Adult Self and Inner Child Together

Sometimes it’s been so long since we’ve thought about what lights us up, that it can be a struggle to name it. If that’s the case, just for just a moment, can you take yourself back to your favorite memory from your childhood?

A memory that immediately brings a smile to your face and warmth to your heart space.

• What were you doing?
• Where were you at?
• What were you feeling?

Take a moment to take in all the details, all the sensory experiences that surrounded you.
Take it all in. Reconnect with that moment and ask yourself, what made this experience so extraordinary? What were you so excited about and loving about your life at that time?

This is such an important way of implementing the practice of reconnecting with your inner essence and joy: your inner child. When we allow ourselves to recall and remember what we deeply loved as a child, we begin to open the door to reconnecting back with that beautiful zest within.

Let’s work to bring that childlike joy back to your adult life.

Bringing Joy and Play Back Into My Own Life

As a child, I remember I loved to make up dances to songs and create an entire show for my grandparents to enjoy. I loved climbing trees and making forts out of the rhododendron bushes in the woods behind my home. I loved riding my bike to nowhere and having the freedom of the breeze flying in my hair. I loved being in nature — exploring, and finding new places. I loved sitting down with a pencil and sketching anything and everything that came to mind for hours…

…the truth is, my inner child STILL loves doing all of these things. They light me up. So whenever and wherever I can, I implement these things that brought me so much joy into my life now.

I’d like to offer you an invitation: just for today, can you begin to commit to doing just one thing that lights you up BEFORE you start adulting?

Whatever it is, can you make a commitment to yourself today to begin this life-altering practice? Then notice, how much joy do you have in your heart and in your life?

Your inner child is begging for a chance to be seen and shine, can you give her the space in your life that she deserves?

Begin this journey to reclaim your joy one day, one practice at a time. I believe that each of us can create and experience a life full of more joy than we could have ever imagined. It just takes one conscious step at a time.

I believe in you sister.

Work With Me

As a transformational life coach, my life’s purpose is to guide you to reconnect to your joy. If you’d like to work together 1:1, you can book a complimentary clarity call with me here.

Curious about inner child work? Sign up for the next REchilding workshop here.