How Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality

While growing up, you’ve probably had an experience that gave you a lasting belief about yourself. 

You’ve lived with this belief your entire life. Never questioning whether it’s true or not. 

It’s been your reality. And your reality shapes your entire world.

But some beliefs aren’t real. It’s just an idea that someone gave to you to keep as your own. 

…what if you didn’t have to keep it?

What is a Belief and Where do They Come From? 

Beliefs are ideas, assumptions, or opinions that a person or group of people accepts as true or real. It’s our brain’s way of making sense of the world and how we live in it. They represent how we expect the world to behave, how we relate to other people, and how they relate to us.

Most beliefs are formed by the age of six. They are greatly influenced by our upbringing and experiences. This is what shapes us. Most of our beliefs are given to us by parents or other authority figures in our lives. As children, we take what adults say as truth, and this truth becomes our reality. 

These messages you received from your parents, peers, and authority figures taught you something about yourself — for better or for worse — and they also taught you things about them.

Your experiences as a child helped determine if you believed were smart, likable, or capable and how you felt about your appearance. Once you gained this perspective of yourself — and determined how you perceived others — it shaped your interactions and choices from then on.

Core beliefs are our most deeply held ideas or opinions about ourselves and have a significant influence on the way we think and behave. They can be the root cause of mental issues, why we are the way we are, and our automatic thoughts.

There are three types of core beliefs. These are the ideas, opinions, and assumptions about:

• Ourselves
• Others
• The world around us

Your beliefs shape your perceptions and perspectives which ultimately shape your reality. Once you realize that your beliefs can be changed, you can begin your journey to change this reality.

How Beliefs are Formed: An Unreliable Truth

Beliefs are how we organize the information we receive from the world. It allows our brains to categorize and evaluate what we take in. 

Our own beliefs come from memories of our experiences which have been permanently stored in our brain as information we’ve learned. We bring these memories up through retrieving this information — or remembering — and applying it to the present moment. 

This helps you interpret the information you receive so you can recognize patterns and predict what will happen in the future based on your past experiences. If you don’t have enough information, your brain will simply fill in the gaps based on these past experiences to create a more complete —  but sometimes false — picture.

Our brains prefer familiar patterns over unfamiliar ones. This sometimes causes you to see things not as they really are, but how you’re comfortable seeing them. You might jump to conclusions or make assumptions because that’s how you’ve always experienced something. 

Since you rely mostly on your senses to experience the world, it can be hard to accept that the things you see, hear, or think are not 100% based on reality. Most people tend to trust their senses and believe what they perceive to be real. Even if this information contradicts what they’ve experienced or believed in the past. Your brain will try and distort the information so it fits into your personal narrative to protect these beliefs. 

They’re what you know.

 It’s easier to accept this familiar belief rather than to change it or give up on it completely.

Sometimes it’s easier to ignore it rather than challenge it. Challenging a belief takes work. It takes practice. It takes time. 

But certain beliefs are worth it.

How Beliefs Shape Who We Are and Why They’re So Hard to Change

Beliefs are a huge part of who we are as people. They shape our concepts of ourselves and define who we are. They define our image and present who we are to the world. They define the rules by which we live and the tone of our internal voice. How we speak to ourselves.

They can influence our behaviors and determine how we succeed — or don’t succeed — in the world and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Negative or limiting beliefs about yourself, others and the world around you can greatly impact how you live your life. We may think that we aren’t worthy, that we’re ugly, boring, or unlovable. We may think other people are untrustworthy, or uninterested. Maybe we’ve believed this since childhood. We might believe that the world is unwelcoming or negative because that’s what our childhood experience was.

When you believe something, you’ll look everywhere for any evidence that supports it. For example, if you grew up believing that you’re unlovable, every breakup or rejection may make you feel that it’s proof that you are. This evidence reinforces that belief.

These limiting beliefs are restrictive. They hold you back. 

These beliefs are usually related to a feeling of incompetence, being vulnerable, feeling inferior, and fear that we are unlikable, insignificant, or a burden to other people.

Examples of Limiting Beliefs:

• I’m unlovable
• I’m not worthy
• I can’t change
• I’m not as good as others
• I’m unlikable
• I’ll fail
• I did something wrong
• I’m helpless

Beliefs can be deeply embedded into the fabric of who we are. This is why they are so hard to change. 

But change is possible. You can change your beliefs. 

The Practice of Questioning Your Belief in the Moment

When you find yourself holding on to a negative belief, take a moment to question it.

Awareness of this is the first step in changing a belief. 

It’s helpful to remind yourself that your beliefs are just thoughts. Thoughts are just words and opinions. A belief is a product of these words and opinions. They are nothing more than the noise of our chattering minds trying to fill in the silence.

The second step is to understand where the belief first came from. When did you first begin to see yourself, the world, or others in this way? What experience did you have that contributed to shaping these beliefs? Does someone in your family hold similar opinions and ideas?

When  questioning a belief, you may ask yourself:

• Is this mine?
• Does this belief belong to me?
• Does this belief fuel the vision of the person I want to be, the life I hope to create, and the work I am being called to do?
• Is this belief serving me in the path that I am desiring to go on?

The third step is challenging these beliefs. Can you release this belief with love and replace it with a new and empowering belief that you choose? 

If your negative beliefs are holding you back from the life you truly wish to live — it’s necessary to address these beliefs that are keeping you from living the life of your dreams. 

Are you ready to empower yourself to take positive action in your life and feel good about yourself? 

To see yourself as you truly are?

As a life + transitional coach, I can help you change your negative beliefs using Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and T.I.M.E techniques, as well as hold space for you during this beautiful, yet difficult, time of transformation. 

Together we can figure out where these beliefs came from, and use your existing patterns as guides to make the necessary lasting changes. If you’re ready to step into the highest version of yourself with nothing holding you back, book a complimentary clarity call with me here. 

I believe in you.