Do you ever find yourself on the precipice of change but you aren’t sure what to do about it?
You might decide you need some advice.
So you ask your friends. Your family. Your co-workers.
You ask them what they think you should do.
Are you trying to figure out what they think about your potential choice? Or are you waiting for that green light so you can do what you really want?
Are you looking for advice… or permission?
Permission means to consent expressly or to make possible. To give opportunity: to allow.
When we have a decision to make, it can be easy to start leaning on our friends and family to give us advice to help us make that decision. Decisions we’s are totally capable of making on our own. But maybe what we’re really asking for is their permission to get started or take action. It’s almost as if what we decide on is less about what we actually want in our own lives and more about the approval and permission from others.
But the only person we need permission and approval from is ourselves.
Looking inward and defining what we want — without the input or influence from others — and giving ourselves permission to do it is the only way to achieve the fulfillment we desire in our lives.
Because it’s honest. It’s raw. It’s ours.
Permission from others can be reassuring. It’s familiar.
We tend to seek validation from others, rather than look within ourselves to find the answer to our own questions and stand strong in the choices we make. We may — wrongly — assume that we need the approval or permission of people who are more knowledgable, or more powerful than us to live our lives the way we want to.
But no one knows our hearts as well as we do. No one else is capable of making these — possibly life-changing — decisions for us.
No one else to give us permission:
When you rely on others to influence how you live your life, you risk affirming your self-doubts, minimizing your potential, and not moving forward.
Growing up, we were given permission by our parents or by authority figures as to what we should or shouldn’t do. What we were allowed to do.
From then on, that message we received helps us decide what we do, what we say, and… well, how we live. We use this message to interpret what we believe the “proper” behaviors are based on what we were allowed to do. We might have been taught that only if we’re good, then we’ll be given permission to do the things we want to do.
Sometimes though, we need to examine these beliefs given to us and let them go. To define our own rules for ourselves. To give ourselves permission to be who we want to be without limitations or conditions. We don’t have to be who our parents — and other authority figures — told us we had to or were allowed to be.
If we’re taught that we need to gain approval before going after what we want, we internalize that validation from other people is more important than our own needs and wants. We end up hoping and needing someone else to give us permission to pursue our dreams.
So we search for it.
When we search for other people’s permission, it undermines our own personal authority. It undermines what we believe ourselves to be capable of. But when we hold ourselves accountable for our choices, we define life on our own terms. You’re free to try new things and take a new direction whenever you’d like.
It’s a way of putting yourself first in the best way possible. Because only you are responsible for being the best, and healthiest version of yourself.
So give yourself permission to thrive.
Watching someone else go through their own journey of growth and evolution can be tough.
You might worry that you’ll grow apart.
You worry you might have to change too.
How you feel about yourself, and whether or not you’re giving yourself permission to do the things you love, can affect whether you will encourage a partner or loved one who’s growing and changing, or try and hold them back.
We need to be willing to give our friends and family that encouragement to take the next step into the next best version of themselves.
To let them choose their own path.
You move and adapt along with these changes to improve your chances of a desirable outcome. It’s recognizing that you are — or should be — always working to grow, adapt, and allow others to do the same.
This is a huge part of the journey of life and it’s crucial to the evolvement of our lives, and our souls, and ultimately leads to our triumphs.
When we think of change in this mindset of evolution, it’s easier to see it as a path to success on which we’re working on our strengths, learning from our mistakes, and making improvements. What we learn can lead us to a more satisfying life. If we can reframe something that is changing in our lives — for ourselves and for others — we’re able to see the amazing outcomes that are available to all of us.
It’s important that we don’t try and force people to change — or stay the same — according to our own agenda. People can evolve into a better version of themselves on their own terms, but we can’t make them change or try to hold on to the current version of who we want them to be.
To let them define their path, make mistakes, and learn from them. To figure out their place in the world.
To give themselves permission to live a big and beautiful life.
Embracing growth is not only admirable, but it’s also necessary for our development. Embracing the unknown teaches us to balance, and flexibility, and opens our world to things we never thought possible.
Sometimes the hardest part of this growth process is understanding that we can only reach a level our mind perceives as even possible for us. Once we expand our view of what we think is possible, our possibilities literally become endless. We just need to give ourselves permission to believe that these possibilities are available to us.
Embracing growth and change can:
So open yourself to the possibility of wonderful things happening to you. Give yourself permission. Without this permission, there is no possibility for growth.
You need to be able to give yourself permission to adjust the path you’re on based on what you learn along the way. To periodically assess where you’re heading. To evolve and change over time based on life’s changing demands, needs, your own personal growth, and new opportunities that arise for you.
If you find yourself dreading or resenting certain aspects of your life, it’s time to figure out what about your life needs to change and then make those changes. Because if you’re not happy, something isn’t right.
You need to find the things that light you up and allow you to fulfill your potential. The potential you decide can be yours. The potential that you deserve. Find the who, what, where, and how that gives you a feeling of excitement and leaves you satisfied and fulfilled at the end of the day.
No one else but you can decide what’s possible for you in your life and no one else but you can dare to believe that you can achieve it.
So what if you give yourself this permission?
What if you opened yourself up to the potential of your own greatness?
As a transformation and life coach, I can help you figure out what it is that you crave in this life. To explore your current beliefs about permission and guide you to empower yourself to expand your potential and say YES to the life you dream of.
Give yourself permission to live your very best life.
Because only you can give that to yourself.
I’m just here to show you the way.
For support and encouragement on your journey of personal evolution, you can book a complimentary clarity call with me here.